I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
