You just made me feel so damn special
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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