"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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