It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
