I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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