I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Modeâ€. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
