Plan B is the new Plan A
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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