peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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