walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
