i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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