in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
