Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
