Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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