I am in a vortex of obligation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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