Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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