Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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