you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
