haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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