And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
