i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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