Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
