High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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