I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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