Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
