well most of my day revolves around power hour
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The Olympian is in my bed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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