so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
