no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
