was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
