Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've blown a few things in my day
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
