I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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