Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
