Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
