if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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