I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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