6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
