So drunk, too bad you don't want this
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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