we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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