I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
