I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
