Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
