it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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