He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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