Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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