he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
