You really coming over, don't trick.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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