Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so let's talk penis.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
