3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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