cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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