yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
