Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
