I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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