Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
