He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize