I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
