I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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