There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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