I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
