I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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