i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
