textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
