i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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