Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
