Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
