please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just high enough for therapy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
