O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
