Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
