So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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